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Hello, my name is Lydia. Welcome to the website I created in memory of my son, Jacob. Our family was devastated by SIDS in April 1999 when our little 2 month old baby boy Jacob died suddenly in the night. This site is my personal work to make SIDS more bearable for the families whose child had died. He is missed very much by my husband and myself as well as his brother and sisters. After Jacob died, I searched online and couldn't find anything comforting, just cold statistical web sites and plenty of so-called "prevent SIDS" articles which only served to upset me more than I already was. I found nothing that helped show me that I could somehow survive the greatest tragedy I'd ever faced. I started SIDS Families about 6 months after Jacob's death, to both give families a place to come together, and to commemorate the lives of the many babies who were victims of SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome). I do not have a staff and this is not a paying job for me. This site is not part of some big SIDS organization. I run this site in my spare time, on my own. Since 1999, SIDS Families has grown so much, beyond what I ever anticipated, and while it's become increasingly difficult for me to keep up with everything, I do my very best and I greatly appreciate when people respect that I'm just one mom doing what I can.
At this point in time I am not as actively maintaining the website as I once did. For many years I devoted countless hours to the site and accompanying groups, but in the past few years it became too difficult to stay on top of everything SIDS Families grew to be. I will continue to update the website as time permits and will continue to make the site available for as long as I'm able to.
It's terrible to know that this happens to others, and yet at the same time there is a bit of comfort in simply knowing you are not alone. It can be a comfort to know that others have walked this journey before you and that somehow, they have survived and learned to live again. I found it so encouraging to talk to others who had walked this road before me because when I didn't think I could survive a single day, knowing that a mom had gone (however many) years since their baby's death gave me the hope and courage to believe that I could survive too. Somehow the mere fact that others shared their experience, knowledge and wisdom gave me the strength to face each day and made it seem possible that I could eventually learn to live again too.
Despite the use of the word "syndrome", SIDS is not a disease, a baby can't "catch" SIDS, and a diagnosis of SIDS cannot be given to a living baby. SIDS is basically a fancy way of saying, "We have no idea why this baby died." SIDS is not an actual cause of death, it means instead that they could not find a cause; it's a diagnosis of exclusion. In other words, after ruling out all known causes of death, if the cause of death still cannot be determined, then the death is typically attributed to SIDS.
I hope this site will offer parents and other family members an online comfort zone to come to when they need to talk freely about the baby they love and miss so much. I have been told many times by grieving parents that they felt like they'd come home when they found SIDS Families, and I am truly proud that what I've done in memory of my son Jacob has touched the lives of so many others in such positive ways. I hope that you'll find comfort and support here as well.
At the side you will find links to various pages here on the site. If you're in need of support, please consider joining one of the email support groups, where you'll find many other warm and caring people who've also lost a child to SIDS. There are many wonderful people in these groups who have lost a child they loved to SIDS, but should you join one of the groups, please keep in mind that the members are not trained professionals, they're all just grieving family members too. If you need professional help, don't be afraid or ashamed to get it. The last issue of HOPE was for May 2005, but in all the issues that are available up to May there's a lot of wisdom and comfort from many different people which newly bereaved families may find helpful.
Thank you visiting, I hope you'll find SIDS Families helpful.